I recently remembered that I have a blog, and decided to start getting back into writing by first remembering what I did before that I liked the most.  This post references those entries that I’m interested in reading again:

002 - Business Processes and Religion

003 – Authority

006 – Worship

009 - The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil

011 – Feelings

018 - The Number Two

020 – Science

027 – Judgments

029 – Prioritization

033 – Orthodoxy

039 - Liberals and Conservatives, Part 1

041 – The Human Condition

042 - Liberals and Conservatives, Part 2

044 - Volcanic Ash and the Soul

So my ambitious goal of 212 in ‘10 appears to be out of reach.  But I finally decided that writing is better than not.  I’m planning a rewrite of toddwprice.com, something with a little more direction, a little more design, and a little less pressure. 

I write to express the tangle of thoughts and words that, when unsaid, eat at me like naval jelly on a rusty pipe.  (Have you ever used that stuff?  Maybe it’s been banned since I last used it as a kid.)

So, let’s see where round 2 takes me.  No promises this time, just a well-designed and purposeful blank slate…

I was reading Richard Rohr this morning about faith.  Specifically, that it isn’t about believing that there is a God, or going to church, or understanding doctrine.  It is the absence of fear and anxiety. It is the giving up of control, believing the universe to be a good place that is for you.

And in reading this, it was clear to me just how far I have to go to have real faith. I am so upset still about “King James” leaving the Cavs that I think about it constantly. Clevelanders

We will probably never have a sports dynasty in our city now.  The NFL has no dynasties anymore, and the Yankees will always be the dynasty in MLB. But we had a shot at not just a championship in the NBA. We had a shot at multiple championships. I remember listening on the radio to WTAM 1100 the evening that the Cavs had won the draft lottery and secured the right to draft LeBron James. The announcer was proclaiming how it was a fact that we would win MULTIPLE championships now, not just one.  I guess he was getting a little ahead of himself, and so was I.  I bought in.  I was waiting for them to happen.

And LBJ had a shot at delivering them for us.  But maybe we put too much pressure on him.  He was just a kid.  Still is, as is apparent from the recent media circus he revved up.  But here was a kid with amazing talent, who was glued to his teammates.  He wanted so badly to do it as a team.  Basketball was More Than a Game to him. It was his family. And it appears he was constantly trying to recreate that experience for himself with the Cavs.

Except, as Brian Windhorst just put out there, he also had his eye on re-creating a new family for himself.  The perfect family. A family of all-star friends.  I don’t believe it’s about “business”.  It’s about security.  At least, that’s why I would have done it.  He is insecure when he loses.  So am I.  So why not create a place where you can rock the world year after year and feel on top of the world?  I don’t blame him really.  I just didn’t like how he made it happen. And yes, Miami is much more glamorous and sexy than Cleveland, though I wonder if that won’t be a distraction to him.  Dwayne Wade is getting a divorce, and I wonder what effect his new-found bachelorhood will have on LeBron and his post-modern family.

But all of these rantings are of course about me.  Because I see his situation through the lens of my own life experience. And I get myself riled up about nothing.  And I fear that it means I have little or no value because I am from Cleveland and my teams never win. And what I am realizing more than ever is that I do not need to be insecure because a team bearing the name of my city of birth has come across tough times again. It is just another opportunity to be present and alive through any and all circumstances that come my way, and to find joy in life in the midst of all of it.  Isn’t that real freedom, after all?